the natural gap...

there are no unnatural or supernatural phenomena -

only very large gaps in our knowledge of what is natural -

we are never alone...

All houses are haunted.
All persons are haunted.
Throngs of spirits
follow us everywhere.
We are never alone.

premonition...precognition...

Mark Twain thought that he would die
on the date of Halley's Comet appearance
just as it had appeared when he was born -
he died just days before the May 18,
1910 Halley's comet appearance.

Calpurnia, the wife of Caesar,
dreamed the night before he died
that he would be killed by a friend
and begged him to not leave home.
He did leave.
He was murdered.

the girl in the yellow dress...

for many years i lived in my little 1926 bungalow that sat in the middle of a beautiful pecan tree covered lot - before i bought the house, for several years, i drove past it every day enroute to work and every day, i could not help but slow down and look at it - there was a qaintness and charm about it that set it apart from its neighbors although the houses in this subdivison were all early 20th century homes with big trees and lots of flowering shrubs - for some time it sat empty with no one living there - for me there was always a kind of familiarity - i had such an affinity for it so one day i tracked down its owner who lived in another town - and long story short i told him i wanted to buy the house - when i sent him my initial proposal by mail, i outlined all the things i envisioned for it and for me and my family and based upon that letter, he told me, he sold me the property in which he had raised his family -

when i moved in, i immediately began restoration of the main floor - the house also had an upstairs which had been finished out from attic space back in the 50's by the previous owner who had also, when he moved out, left upstairs all of the junk and debris from his years of living there - in any event, i began work downstairs first - at the center of the bottom floor sat a square island which housed a large closet and the stairwell - the closet door opened into a rectangular hallway space from which sat the other downstairs rooms - this closet door was directly opposite the door of the "mistress [in my case] bedroom" -

during this time, one of my daughters and her two small children lived with me - on this particular night, the children were in their beds and my daughter and i decided to watch television from my big bed where we sat with the overhead light out as we watched the movie - apparently, we both fell asleep and when the movie was over, the tv turned itself off - then i was awakened by a bright light in my face - and i looked up to see "my daughter" standing at my hallway closet with the door open and the light on - she had her back to me - her long hair was down - and she had on a yellow dress that i had not seen before - i was startled to see her there and asked her what she was looking for in the closet - and then i asked where she had gotten that yellow dress - the dress had a very fitted waist, a ruffle around the shoulders which dropped off the shoulders a bit with a full skirt gathered at the waist, a tied sash in the back and it was floor-length - i called her name several times - she didn't answer, but continued to stand there at the closet opening with her back to me - then, my daughter said to me, "mom, what's the matter?" and i turned to look at her and realized that she, cindy, my daughter, was on the bed beside me and she was not wearing a yellow dress - cindy had fallen asleep beside me and had never left the bed - when i quickly turned my head back toward the closet, the girl in the yellow dress was gone and the closet light was off with the door shut - cindy and i talked often about that night - and laughed about it at times - but it remained very real to me - and i never forgot it -

several years later, i was living alone again and my sister relocated to shreveport from dc and took the upstairs of my house as her space - we called in a contractor to come in and do some renovation and to clean out all the "junk" from the remaining attic space which we also planned to open up - the crew worked long hard days piling all the previous owner's leftover stuff and junk along side the curb for pick-up - one day, i had prepared lunch for the work crew and we were all sitting around my dining room table when something came up about all the things that they had pulled out of the attic - i had shared with my sister the story of the girl in the yellow dress and somehow the subject came up about other "spooky" incidents that had happened to me and to visitors in my home and then she said to them, "oh, so has jenean told you the story about the girl in the long dress?" - and the foreman responded, "was it a yellow dress with a big shirt and a big sash?" - then, he said "cause if it was a yellow dress, then, it's out there at the bottom of the junk pile - i pulled it out of the eaves in the side of the attic wall, the wall that runs along your bedroom outer wall" -

while we did not retrieve the dress from the junk pile - it was a huge junk pile of lumber, old air conditioners, furniture, big boxes of books, etc., and would have taken hours to "undo" to find the dress - the guy went on to describe the ruffles on the shoulders and other details i had seen on the girl at my closet -

the sad thing is that i never saw the girl again - nor did the other ongoing occurrences continue that had frightened so many visitors to my home - but i do wonder about her still - i researched court records and discovered that the home had been originally built by two women who both came from old prominant shreveport families -

the dream visit...

sacred

songs

echoing

d

e

e

p

into the

yesteryear

of

my

soul

waking

now

the

primal

s

c

r

e

a

m

in 1995 i went to the twin eagles pow wow in shreveport - it was the first one i had attended and my friend and i decided to go on opening day, taking along my twin granddaughters [aged 7] -

two nights before the pow wow, i had a very very vividly intense lucid dream - in my dream, which i realized to be a dream as i dreamed, i found myself in a completely pure white room - a single room with the white so bright as to be unimaginable - a pure unadulterated radiant white - in this room were several older women who were seated - no words were spoken but i knew that they were telling me that they were there to help me somehow - i can still see the cluster of them today, sitting with their long black hair the only real color in the room - they told me there was someone i needed to meet - and they were sending him to me - and through an opening in the room walked a very tall muscular man in native american regalia - he also verbalized nothing as he walked toward me - he was wearing a large plumed headband and dressed in solid white - i remember observing me from behind as i stood in the room - as he got closer to me, i awoke - and i remember watching him come closer toward me - as he got directly in front of me, i awoke -

the dream was one of those that leaves you overwhelmed with its intensity - wondering of its meaning - and feeling as if it were an actual "real" experience rather than a "dream" - i told my friend about it later that day and we laughed about it even, about the tall dark indian warrior coming to me in my dreams -

the day of the pow wow i gathered up my little granddaughters, picked up my friend and we drove to the pow wow at the shreveport fair grounds, and the huge arena in which it was being held - the crowd was enormous but we were able to get seats right on the second row from the front - perfect seats - the grand parade began with the marching out of different tribal representatives in full regalia - there were several sets of drummers chanting beating - the air was electrified - i heard nothing but the drums and the chants and the rhythm of it all - of the drums the voices the feet pounding the dirt floor - and a feeling of i don't know what came over me - a feeling of "coming home" - of having "been away" for a very very long time - a feeling of pure love - a feeling at the same time of absolute and total grief - i mean, pure unadulterated absolute "grief" - and i began to sob - i don't mean that i shed a few tears - i mean that i sobbed as if there had been a death - the sobs racked my body - they overtook my soul - my being - i was aware of people around me turning to look at me - some of them even smiled knowingly - when finally i could control the sobbing, or it stopped of its own accord, actually, i knew that something inexplicable had just happened to me but knew not what - and then, a single dancer - a kiowa - was announced - and out onto the dirt floor walked the native man who had come to me in my dream - the man in the white regalia with the beautiful headpiece - and as he danced, he danced toward me, looking at me as his feet struck the sand with each beat - i was transfixed in that moment and could do nothing but absorb the totality of those moments in time -

after several more dancers had performed, someone took my hand for me to come with them to the arena floor to join the dance - i don't remember the person - and we left out seats, my granddaughters, my friend and i, and went out onto the dirt floor where we joined hands with dancers and others and danced around the arena in unison, as one entity, to the beat the rhythm of the drums and the cries of the chants - a moment of pure beauty and love -

after the pow wow was over, we tried to find this man - this dream warrier -but unsuccessfully - he was not to be found -

but i could not lose the reality of the dream or of the elder women or of this man - and several days later i contacted someone whom i knew to be associated with the shreveport twin eagles group [but whom i'd never met] - we met for lunch the next day and i told him my dream story and the story of my reaction at the pow wow - the sobbing and the associated feelings - the grief and coming home and of peace and love - and he listened to me, his eyes never leaving my face, his long silver hair below his shoulders, with his hands out on the table toward mine - and he told me that the man in my dreams was dennis zotigh, a kiowa from oklahoma and that he, himself, had personally chosen dennis to dance at this pow wow - that dennis is a known "messenger" and that i had been chosen to receive the message this time - there was something for me to learn - a journey to be had - and then he asked me to join the twin eagles group, which i did -

i stayed a member for several years - and did contact dennis but did not receive a response - much to my dismay - however, it could be that he simply never received my email message as he tours constantly - whatever the reason, though, i have not communicated directly with him but he remains a part of my life in many ways -

as a result of this incredible experience, afterward i wrote a stream of consciousness group of words that seem to describe this dream visit - it is also posted elsewhere on one of my blogs but i place it here where it best belongs -

and so - this is my story of the women elders and the native man who came to me in my dream -

[this is the dream i mention in my earlier post "dreamjourney" where i have inserted an image symbolic of this dream]

IMAGINE REALITY

if YOU can IMAGINE it
you can have it -
this is the lesson to learn
it couldn't be any easier -

REALITY is not what your eyes show your MIND
but what your MIND CREATES for your eyes to see -

YOU are not limited by logic - the past - or the world around you -
YOU are not even of the world around you -
YOU are SUPERNATURAL - pure SPIRIT -

YOU came first -
MAGIC, MIRACLES AND LUCK

are the consequences of understanding this -
the inevitible result of DREAMING and ACTING

in spite of appearances -

YOU are ever so close -
stay the course
it won't be very much longer -

if
YOU
can
IMAGINE
it
YOU
can
HAVE
it...


author unknown